monster mouths

Quite possibly, this could be my shortest post. Nah, I think I will ramble a bit.

It’s the week before Halloween, that means I am going to be “spookifing” food.

Take the after-school snack of apples and peanut butter:

spooky, eh?

It’s sliced apples bound together with peanut butter and slivered almond “teeth”.

Oh yeah, healthy, vegan, and spoooooky!

See. A short post.

But, on my agenda for the week is something spooky every day. And, a giveaway. Some of you guys know about it, already….

So… don’t forget to come visit me – it will be worth it.

If you must have a hint…it involves pasta.

And machinery.

Continue Reading

wormy apples

This is just so cute. And I totally stole it from somewhere- I can’t remember where… (online…I think, although I do have a stack of fall magazines….)

It’s not like me to not give credit-so I will try and hunt down the creator of these cuties.

And, except for the worm they are healthy.

Yippee,  soccer moms unite! We can bring these when it’s our turn for snack at games. Oh yeah. Make all the other moms call you “Martha”, come on, deep inside we know they’re just jealous…and being called “Martha” is really a compliment- weather we admit it or not.

I’d much rather be called “Martha” than Lindsey any ol’ day.

Which ex-jail bird would you want to be?

Now, to make these you will need a strong straw to bore the hole… you know the accordion super thick ones kids get at restaurants with their drinks? The kind that whistle when you blow them. Yep. Those.

Poke a hole in each apple, then cut in half. Scoop out the middle:

and… what goes awesome with apples?

Peanut butter, of course.

It also acts like paste to hold the apples together.

There you have it- you are officially a rockin’ Martha soccer team mom.

Or, a hit at your office .

These just instantly make you cool.

Continue Reading

homemade American cheese

When I told my hubby I was going to make this-um, let’s just say he disapproved. Not that we don’t use/eat American cheese- we do on occasion for grilled cheeses, and cheeseburgers, mainly…but it’s not one of those things we would eat unmelted. He disapproved because he had no clue how I was going to make it and feared coming home to a “not so fresh” house. “Honey, I’m home. Are you making cheese?” is not something he wanted to say. Me either, I would much rather hear “Honey, I’m home. It smells great in here and I won the lottery!”

So…cheese. Now- this is not “junk” cheese. It’s real. And it melts really well. It’s real because you begin with real cheese add some magic ingredients and poof-a 2lb brick of edible gold.

There will be a printable at the end of this post. I am so happy to finally have that for y’all. Now, I will be going back and editing all my previous posts (there are 246 of them) so you can print those, too. See how much I like you guys!? note: the print function works best with Mozilla Firefox, it did not work for my old-a** Internet Explorer. I am working on that. If you use IE and it works, let me know, please! Thanks.

I know what you’re thinking: how does it slice? Let me show you:

look at that! Like butta!

To make this- you need a blender. A food processor may work, I didn’t try it. The cookbook I got the recipe from was from 1978…I’m not sure if food processors were found in a lot of kitchens then. I was only 3.

First you whip up some hot water, gelatin and milk powder:

then add some shredded mild cheddar cheese:


and place into a plastic wrapped lined pan:


But, let’s keep it real.

Wanna see my mess?

Thought so.

It won’t be so messy next time…ha. Who am I kidding?

See the back splash-(the white part?) Yes- I am still waiting on my cabinets so I can paint. Ugh. 3 years in November….oh well.


How to make the world’s best American cheese:

From Make Your Own Convenience Foods by Don and Joan German


1 1/2 lbs grated mild cheddar cheese

1 1/2 c HOT water

1/2 c plus 1 tbs instant nonfat dry milk

1 1/2 tsp unflavored gelatin powder


Line a loaf pan with plastic wrap.

In a blender, place: [from your ingredients above]

1/2 c hot water

3 tbs milk powder

1/2 tsp gelatin

whirl until frothy.

Add 1/2 lb of the cheese, whirl until liquefied and pout into prepared pan.

Repeat process 2 more times until all ingredients are used.

Cover with plastic wrap and chill overnight. (not you, the cheese. Okay, you can chill, too)

A note:  In my blender, I did the 1st batch then just one more batch with all the ingredients- it was fine. I guess it depends on how big/powerful your blender is.

[/print_this]I am going to try this with different shredded cheeses, also and some seasonings…its great this way, but this stuff will be fun to play with! Yum- imagine jalapeno and bacon bits in there? Me too.

Continue Reading

best buttercream icing

Mmmm, is it icing or frosting? I am sure there is some sort of technical difference, and more than likely I am calling it the wrong one- but, you know either way just what it is, so who cares? Oh! If you came here looking for something to do with used coffee grounds….keep reading. You will love it. First my frosting-errr icing…hmmmm.

Maybe I will just call it fricing. Note: spell-check is mad.

Fricing:(noun): [frI-sing] A word created for creamy sweet substance by ignorant blogger who didn’t want to find the proper definition of both frosting and icing.

There. It’s a word now. I need to call Mr. Webster.

Drum roll, please.

It’s fluffy. It’s buttery. It’s sweet.

Cake, as I have mentioned before is one of my all time favorites. I don’t make them much, though. Why? Remember- my hubby tends to like desserts you eat out of hand.

Back to butter cream. Or buttercream. Or fricing.

It’s similar to my other recipe here. But….not exact.

1/2 c salted butter-softened but not too soft. Let’s aim for a “perfect” banana “softness”

1/2 c butter flavor crisco (I know that stuff is unhealthy- sometimes you just have to live a little!)

2 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp almond extract (use the real stuff)

4 cups shifted powdered sugar

3-4 teaspoons cream (or half and half)

To make:

cream together the butter and shortening until they are fluffy, add in the vanilla and almond extracts.

Fold in the sugar and cream  slowly by hand, when it is incorporated, return to mixer and continue to beat until fluffy.

I can’t wait to make homemade cream filled cookies with this fricing. Gotta finish the cake first.

Y’all want to see some highlights?

My mom got her Pillow Pets. She loves them. Why didn’t I invent that?

These are treasure rocks. Something to do with leftover coffee grounds.

To make them, take 1 c leftover coffee grounds, 1 c flour, 1/2 c salt and enough water to make a dough. Hide little trinkets inside and bake at 150 for 15-17 minutes. Or, set them out in the sun all day. Cool, huh? Have a rock hunt. If I were a guy, I would hide a diamond in one. How cool would that be?! A rock in a rock. So clever.

* the craft “recipes” have been adapted from a DVD called “Kid Concoctions”

Continue Reading

bug cake and glob

I have a three year old. It’s official today. Three years ago, after 16 hours of labor and 4 hrs 52m minutes of  pushing (she was stuck) my “baby pine cone” came here to earth. Yeah, I didn’t know humans could give birth to pine cones, I found that out when she started calling me “mommy-pine-cone”. We don’t even have a pine tree. Hmmm.

As you all know, she loves cockroaches, monsters and wax rings. I have a weird little kid. I think it’s because I was a weird little kid myself. I used to eat fish food. And paste. And tubs of butter behind my dad’s chair in the corner. And green stamps. Those were tasty. Mmm.

So at her request for a cockroach-monster-rainbow cake I made this:

boy- it took 3 days. One for the cake bugs and monsters, another buying supplies and another baking the cake.The monsters and cockroaches are obvious, and the rainbow is inside (shhh…)

But it was fun. I’m not complaining. I will complain, however about how much I hate hearing the words “I don’t know” Especially when I walk into a room to find my toddler gushing blood from her temple. Not the response a mama wants to hear. Grrr.  Turns out a trophy hit her in the head-accidentally.

She’s okay- but you know how scary it was. I won’t describe the mess.  But, that was my night last night. See- my life isn’t all palm trees and sunshine. I have my crap, too.(drug-addict moms, psycho exes, too many bills, broken houses,etc,etc….) I just prefer not to dwell on it, because it’s lame. We are talkin’ cake here.

This was my favorite roach. WOAH. I just said my favorite roach. That could be taken way out of context.

Is that your favorite roach, too?

Uh-oh. We need an intervention.

Meet the interventionist:

He knows his stuff.

Listen to him- he will take you to his leader.

Make that-leaders.

I have way too many leftover bugs and monsters.

To make these monsters-bake up a box (gasp!) of cake mix. Doesn’t matter what pan because when it’s baked, you will do this to it:

Yes. Destroy it. Release that tension. Do it while the cake is warm, and mix in (gasp!) one can of frosting- any flavor.

Then, you can make shapes. Be forewarned, ladies- take your rings off. It’s messy. Place your shapes in the freezer for 30 minutes to an hour. During that time, melt some of those candy melts that they sell in craft stores. The instructions are on the bag.

I am not the best dipper, or else the coating wasn’t melted enough. Hmmm. I need more practice, I think. It should have been smoother.

The legs were black licorice, the eyes were fondant balls with dots of black frosting. Yummmmy eyes.

Now- glob. Gloop. This is so fun to make.

Take two bowls: In one, mix 1c water with 1 c white glue. I added 3 drops purple coloring, too.

In the other bowl mix together 1 1/3 cups warm water and 4 teaspoons borax laundry booster. Mix to dissolve the granules. Now- amaze your friends and family by making two liquids a solid.  Combine both mixtures, roll around a few times and lift out. Dab off excess water and it will look like this:

fun. glop.

I also made some treasure rocks and fizz stones. I will share those with y’all, too. Oooo- a craft segment. Craft recipes are fun, they don’t affect your booty as much. 🙂

Continue Reading

buttery onion chicken

This recipe is not my own. My mother in law was telling me how good it was, and when I went to make it-“BAM!” The recipe was right there on the container. I really need to read labels more. There are some tasty recipes there. Of course, with all recipes I find, I add my own ooomph. (spell-check is mad right now.)

With this? Mmmm….melted butter. Oh yeah. Nothing beats that. Garlic. That’s up there, too. Butter-garlic-onion. Okay, use some extra Scope or Listerine before bed. It’s worth it.

I put some chives there, too.

I made a garlic-honey-Dijon sauce to put on top.

You can, too. Keep those vampies away.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s chicken breasts coated with those french-fried onions. You know the ones that show up every Thanksgiving with green beans? Yep.

But… I dipped my chicken in a melted butter garlic mixture, then in flour, then in a beaten egg… and finally into the crushed onions.

Bake em at 400 for 25 minutes.

You can do the dipping early in the day, or the night before. Pop em int the oven, pop open a beer and chill. Yes- it’s beer food. Down-home food calls for beer.

For the garlic-honey-dijon sauce:

3 tbs honey

1 tbs yellow mustard

2 tbs Dijon mustard

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 tbs sour cream

mix together, add salt if needed. Serve as a dipping sauce.


Doesn’t that look delicious? please say no.

It’s homemade glop! Or, noise putty, slime, putty, goop, glob, what-ever-you-want-to-call-it.

And sooooooooo easy. If you have kids, this is a must make! I have several little craft things I have made for this week. So… watch for a craft post. But, don’t worry- there will be food, too. That’s my nature.

Continue Reading

ice cream sandwiches

What happens when you go out of town for the weekend and leave your cookies behind? You know the ones- the chewy lime sugar cookies? Yep, they weren’t so chewy anymore. I am not a fan of crisp cookies. Unless they are macarons, which are crisp and chewy…but, that’s another post.

So I came home to stale cookies…

I made ice cream sandwiches.

Do you need a recipe?

It’s easy. Soften some ice cram and stick it between two cookies. I know-genius. I didn’t think of it, though. I’m sure you know that. If I told you I invented them would you believe me? Didn’t think so.

I have, however been very busy inventing “things”. See, I am in the “Real Women of Philadelphia” cream cheese recipe contest. Anyone can enter- and it’s a whole big “sisterhood” of food lovers there. As I was saying … I invented a few new items for the contest. I am waiting to share them here, because I am not sure if I am permitted to yet. But, I will share the “food porn” with y’all.

Check out my fancy-schmancy drizzle- I was feeling very “Jackson Pollock”

This was dinner last night. OMG so good. Easy. Less than 10 ingredients. Another keeper, I promise.

But, I am done for now with “un-postable” recipes.

Today I will be making something the will appeal to the masses. Curious?

No oven required.


You’ll see…… have an awesome day.

Continue Reading

fairy bread

The Internet is a strange and wonderful place sometimes…. through the Internet, I “met” Kira. Kira is the Australian version of me. Seriously.   Except she makes her own butter. I haven’t done that yet…

Anyway, if she lived closer, I bet we’d hang out . A lot. I would take her to all the thrift stores and international markets and then we could go get cocktails and talk about food.  That would be fun. It’s always fun to have cocktails after shopping. Or before pottery class. That’s another story, with another dear friend. We used to go to a pottery class after work, but hit up happy hour before that. I dropped the clay…a lot. Ahh… the old days…

A while back, I came across a photo that struck my fancy. It was of “fairy bread”. Turns out, it’s an Australian treat associated with birthday parties. Of course, I went to my friend for info. I had the name all wrong at first- I thought it was fairy toast, but toast is crunchy. Things associated with fairies should be fluffy, don’t ya think? Me too.

Kira told me how it brought back wonderful memories of growing up, so this post is for Kira.

What is it?

Fresh fluffy white bread with the crusts cut off and spread with real butter and dipped in sprinkles.

No…whole grain won’t do here.  Neither will margarine.  The fairies told me that’s against the rules. 😉

I have to admit…. it’s good. Real good. Fluffy salty buttery crunchy sweet.

Probably one of those things I will start craving at PMS time. Oh dear.

As far as the movie ticket winner goes… I will be posting that a bit later today. Sorry. The fairies told me to. 😉

Continue Reading

(almost) un-meltable ice cream

Ok, I say almost un-meltable because I know if you… say, left it in the sun or a hot car for an extended period-it may get drippy. But… you can eat it with out getting sticky. I say “YAY!” to that. I don’t know about you…but I really don’t like to be sticky. Ew.

How many people can grab “ice cream”like this?!

What are they, you ask?

Can you tell? Yep…Rice Krispies treats. You can (and should) fill the cones up with small candies or toys. You kind of need to- they are top heavy with out some weight in the cone part. Lil’ tip from mama.

I seriously doubt that you need a recipe for rice krispies treats.

Do you?

Let me know.

I shaped my treats by hand into ice cream shapes-I could have used a scoop, but honestly I will avoid any extra dishes whenever I can.

Then, I dipped them in those candy-melt things that they sell at craft stores. While they were wet, I did up the sprinkles. My hubby thought they would be hard to bite into-( nope! ) And, they were delicious. Better than ice cream in some ways… you know how ice cream tastes awesome the first few bites and then your taste buds go “numb?” That won’t happen here. (hooray!)

I made these for our rainy July 4th. How do ya like my bunting? I never knew what that stuff was called. Now I do. Bunting. Folded fabric decor. Cool. Of course I took this picture before the skies opened up.

Kids love these, too. Really. They will even want to take a picture of them. Okay, maybe that’s just my lil’ one.

“You have to line them up, mommy”

“okay, there. Can I eat one now? I got my picture.”

“Okay, just one…”

My oldest is still with her Memaw. Rumor has it she ate a GIANT cookie at a birthday party. I will have to make these once more when she comes home. They’re  fun. And good.

OH! Giveaway time! Contest number one to celebrate the anniversary of this site!!!


All the ingredients needed to make the “ice cream” treats- INCLUDING the recipe ( 🙂 )And candy and toys to fill your cones. To enter, just comment at the end of this post. Winner will be chosen by on Monday, July 12th at 8:00am EST. Good luck!!!

Continue Reading

dirt cups

Yum. Dirt. Who can resist it? Just kidding. This kind of dirt is different, though. It’s chocolate.

with a little pink fondant rose. Who can resist?

To make these… I got 12 little terra cotta pots at the garden center. (39¢ each). Then, I washed them real good. I lined them with foil like this:

Then, I brushed the insides with oil and dusted with cocoa powder.

Next? I made a cake FROM A BOX. (shocking, huh…) I was just too lazy to measure a bunch of stuff, ya know…(we all have our lazy days….)

Sometimes, people make these with a crushed Oreo cookies. I didn’t have any- so I used teddy grahams (chocolate) and some coarse sugar.

Before I put the “dirt” on top- I made a mixture of 3 tbs soft butter, 1/3 c chocolate syrup and 1/4 c powdered sugar. If I had a can of the “other frosting” I would have done that…. like I said- I was kinda lazy. I used a mini (butter?) knife to stick the worms in.

Ta-da! I have been messing around a bit more with my photos and I have come to realize I need glasses. Ugh. Can I just use some drugstore ones or do I have to go to a doctor? I really dislike offices. Hmmm.

I also have been messing with my image sizes. Eeek. More computer stuff to learn.

Bear with me, folks.

Is it Spring where you are? I think it is here. I keep seeing lizards mating. I need to get a pic of that for y’all. Lizard porn.

I keep seeing doves doing something to- maybe it’s mating- it’s not too graceful. There’s pretty flowers, too. Maybe you’d rather see those? I can do that.

Anyway, spring has sprung and I am in need of some good ideas. I’m stuck in a bit of a rut on what to cook/eat/make/plant/do/clean/organize/obsess-over .

Any input will make me smile. 🙂 I love you guys.

Continue Reading