I have a three year old. It’s official today. Three years ago, after 16 hours of labor and 4 hrs 52m minutes of pushing (she was stuck) my “baby pine cone” came here to earth. Yeah, I didn’t know humans could give birth to pine cones, I found that out when she started calling me “mommy-pine-cone”. We don’t even have a pine tree. Hmmm.
As you all know, she loves cockroaches, monsters and wax rings. I have a weird little kid. I think it’s because I was a weird little kid myself. I used to eat fish food. And paste. And tubs of butter behind my dad’s chair in the corner. And green stamps. Those were tasty. Mmm.
So at her request for a cockroach-monster-rainbow cake I made this:
But it was fun. I’m not complaining. I will complain, however about how much I hate hearing the words “I don’t know” Especially when I walk into a room to find my toddler gushing blood from her temple. Not the response a mama wants to hear. Grrr. Turns out a trophy hit her in the head-accidentally.
She’s okay- but you know how scary it was. I won’t describe the mess. But, that was my night last night. See- my life isn’t all palm trees and sunshine. I have my crap, too.(drug-addict moms, psycho exes, too many bills, broken houses,etc,etc….) I just prefer not to dwell on it, because it’s lame. We are talkin’ cake here.
This was my favorite roach. WOAH. I just said my favorite roach. That could be taken way out of context.
Uh-oh. We need an intervention.
Meet the interventionist:
Listen to him- he will take you to his leader.
I have way too many leftover bugs and monsters.
To make these monsters-bake up a box (gasp!) of cake mix. Doesn’t matter what pan because when it’s baked, you will do this to it:
Yes. Destroy it. Release that tension. Do it while the cake is warm, and mix in (gasp!) one can of frosting- any flavor.
Then, you can make shapes. Be forewarned, ladies- take your rings off. It’s messy. Place your shapes in the freezer for 30 minutes to an hour. During that time, melt some of those candy melts that they sell in craft stores. The instructions are on the bag.
The legs were black licorice, the eyes were fondant balls with dots of black frosting. Yummmmy eyes.
Now- glob. Gloop. This is so fun to make.
In the other bowl mix together 1 1/3 cups warm water and 4 teaspoons borax laundry booster. Mix to dissolve the granules. Now- amaze your friends and family by making two liquids a solid. Combine both mixtures, roll around a few times and lift out. Dab off excess water and it will look like this:
I also made some treasure rocks and fizz stones. I will share those with y’all, too. Oooo- a craft segment. Craft recipes are fun, they don’t affect your booty as much.